that bites my skull

I—am—really—feeling—bad—tonight.

Intense darkness is setting in, and I can't see a fucking thing to keep me safe. I can't feel better, for hours now—these hours.

It won't pass. It won't pass. Please make it pass.

I try to remember—try to remember—try to remember. It is more than now, this moment of wounding—it is more.

You have no idea, just to write, even here, this much little safety. I hope you understand—fuck—my brain—it couldn't. But here, it is different, and I can use that.

I need something, to keep me safe—fuck—I keep stumbling.

I let a boy smile too closely, one, who doesn't really care, except that I do. And so I will keep caring, like a star, consuming itself.

And I gave another chance, because I cannot ever turn away, and all he did was pluck away my fire.

this—is—fucking—crying—my—eyes—out.