my happiness was always going to be too big, my love for the world always too big, so there are vulnerabilities that hold its hand. but i know is that kindness is my favourite thing and making someone else smile. the other only thing i know is the electric war sticking in my head. and with these two moons it might seem that i say and think and feel the same things in constant jolting film lining the walls, filling my room, painting holes for better things to fall through.

but sometimes you have to face your fears and how...my greatest fear of saying a single word you might know, that you might catch or judge or hate or taste.

i am incapable, but i can. if you realise your sadness is growing and the electricity has grown seething,

enough.

I have a job that I eighty five per cent like. And that's the beauty of work, you always have people fall into your life who are genuinely amazing and keep you smiling in such a place of tether. It feels like another family and I want that they are always happy, especially behind the sheen and veneer. I will receive two weeks away from work in the Christmas period and as the new year comes grinning right through me. I will also hopefully be in america. this could be like a movie.

but the main idea that if things are making you sad or angry or hurt then you should do your best to change them. your hand holds the surest aim if you draw the bow.

everything always changes but i will change it now.