the absolute truth, without any sort of colour, no tenses to hide between? for all my adoration for love, i am inable, inept, absurdly broken. i know love is not everything, and it does not carry you to the end of the book, and i know that stating all of this, does not set up the justification for, all that i then seek for beneath.
but, this is... enough.
i only want to be better, not in a strength of self, or any kind of crown. i want to be better, for the world around me. something i can put no games to, my mother. she gets that colour in her eyes, like a sad puppy but with, hope. she's trying to obtain an ipad for my sister, for her 21st. i know this idea in itself doesn't seem like anything great, or special, simple greed. but, she places a half-torn docket on my desk, with that colour in her eyes, whispering, Enter this (code on the docket) and win her an ipad, please, please, please, please. and just, that goddamned colour. that hope just crushes me and makes me smile. i love my mother so greatly.
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